The Friendship Poem

1. When you are sad . . . I'll get you drunk (or gorge on chocolate) & help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue . . . I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile . . . I'll know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared . . . I will rag you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried . . . I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

6. When you are confused . . . I will use little words to explain.

7. When you are sick . . . stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall . . . I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath . . . I pledge till the end. Why you may ask? Because you're my true friend!